The Couch Chronicles
by dansunedisco
Summary: [LukeNoah. Oneshot.] Luke snores and Noah deals with the aftermath.


**Characters:** Luke, Noah. Luke/Noah.  
**Rating:** NC-17.  
**Warnings:** Future!fic, crack!fic, sex, swearing, silly shmoop.  
**Summary:** Luke snores and Noah deals with the aftermath.  
**Disclaimer: **The characters belong to their respective owners.**  
**

Author's Note: Um, I couldn't help myself. This fic takes place in the same universe as _Not Available_. It can be read as a prequel or a sequel, but it's fine as a standalone fic as well.

---

Luke snored.

He snored like a god damned _bear_.

Noah flopped onto his side violently, praying to everything and anything that the sudden rocking motion would awaken Luke enough so he'd be compelled to change positions. That, and _stop snoring. _Noah wasn't sure why he put up with it. The growling and the gurgling; heavy, panting breaths that switched to high-pitched snorts; a pause in the madness, tentative relief, and then the shattered hope of a good night's rest. It was a brutal cycle, and it had been going on for seventeen painful nights.

Noah was beyond annoyed. But, as much as he wanted to shake Luke's shoulder, he couldn't bring himself to do it. A part of him was afraid Luke would banish him to the couch if he did. The other part of him--the one that still couldn't accept the fact that Luke really was the alpha in the relationship--vehemently denied the claim.

Either way, he needed to set his plan into action if he ever wanted sleep again.

Ever since the snoring had started, Noah had taken to sleeping at the edge of his side of the bed--the right side. The two of them always fell asleep relatively close (code word: snuggling), so Luke was still in the middle. Noah carefully scooted closer, until his front was pressed flush against Luke's side. He maneuvered his way around Luke's arm and tucked his face into the crook of Luke's neck.

"Hey," he said, softly.

Luke moved against him, but he was still soundly asleep.

Noah waited and Luke continued on breathing heavily.

"Hey," he repeated, stroking Luke's side.

Luke let out a sigh, then a yawn. He brought his hand up and rubbed at his eyes with another yawn-groan. Noah would never admit it aloud, but Luke really did the most adorable things when he was half-way awake.

Noah would have smiled if he weren't so tired. And manly.

Luke shifted around until he was chest-to-chest with Noah, then slung an arm over his waist. "Mmmm?"

"You were snoring," Noah said. "And I couldn't sleep."

Luke gave him a lazy kiss. "The couch is always open." He pushed a leg between Noah's.

Noah snuggled closer. "I don't deserve to be punished."

"You woke me up." Luke slid his hand under the back of Noah's shirt and drew lazy patterns on his lower back.

Noah sighed in contentment. "And you keep _me _up."

"You'll still love me in the morning, right?" Luke pulled back a fraction to bat his eyelashes and pout.

"Maybe," Noah said, between another lazy kiss. "I'm just worried about this snoring business. You've never snored before."

"Think I should see a doctor?" Luke said, clearly a little off-put.

"It might be for the best." Noah went in for another kiss, but ended up yawning instead. "I might need to a see doctor myself, if this doesn't stop."

"I'll make it up to you." Luke gave Noah's butt an affectionate pat. "Promise."

---

Apparently, it was not meant to be.

Luke had gone to the doctor about his snoring, but something absolutely terrible had been discovered instead. Luke had needed surgery.

Noah grasped Luke's limp hand and glanced around the hospital room. Luke's bedside table was overflowing with cards and flowers and balloons, but otherwise the room was bare and harsh. Noah hated hospitals with a passion. He'd never been able to pinpoint where, exactly, this hatred for them began, except that it'd always been one of his quirks. But when Luke had been admitted, he'd shoved aside all his wariness as if he were in fucking Grey's Anatomy himself.

He lifted Luke's hand to his forehead and clenched his eyes shut. It was painful to see Luke lying there, an ugly hospital-issued blanket up to his chest. He took a shaky breath. Just the thought of Luke out of his life gave him a chill. And it was right then, with Luke's hand against his cheek, where everything snapped into place.

Noah was... absolutely _whipped_.

Luke stirred and blinked at him blearily. He looked completely drugged up.

"Hey," Noah said with a comforting smile. "How are you feeling?"

"Like--the time..." Luke's voice was grainy and pained. Each word looked like to took a great deal of effort to get it out.

"Shhh, it's okay. You're okay now." Noah said, patting Luke's hand.

Luke glared at him. "I just... had my--tonsils removed. Asshole."

"See, you're almost back to your fighting form."

The door to the room opened. Noah twisted around and saw Luke's doctor, Dr. Magoon, standing in the doorway. He was hugging a clipboard to his chest and wearing a very cheerful smile.

"Glad to see you're awake, Luke," he said. "If I could just have non-family leave the room..."

Noah gave Luke a look.

Luke still looked drugged up.

"I'm his boyfriend," Noah said, realizing that he was definitely on his own against the doctor. "I need to know the details. I'll be the one spoon-feeding him--"

Dr. Magoon laughed. "He had a tonsillectomy, son, not a heart transplant."

"It's okay," Luke rasped out. "He can stay."

_He can stay. _

All Noah could think was, "Thank god."

---

"For someone who claims to hate everything military, you're quite adept at taking orders."

Noah handed Luke a tub of mint chocolate chip ice cream and a spoon. "You're still recovering from your surgery. If you want ice cream, you'll get ice cream."

Luke pried the top of the tub off and tossed it onto the coffee table. He was sitting on their couch, a mountain of pillows surrounding him. "You're making me sound like some pregnant woman," he muttered.

Noah joined him on the couch. "Can we speed it up and get to the trimester where you're always craving sex?"

"Shut up," Luke said. He shoveled a huge dollop of ice cream into his mouth.

"Will you at least share some?" Noah tried.

Luke ate another spoonful. "I'm a little unsympathetic to your cause right now."

"Team Noah misses its lone fanboy." Noah slid off the couch and got onto his knees between Luke's legs. The hardwood floor wasn't doing him any favors; he pulled Luke's least favorite pillow from the pillow pile and put it under him.

Luke licked at his ice cream, trying to seem nonchalant. And failing. Quite badly, actually. "The doctor said no strenuous activities for two weeks. I specifically remember him emphasizing _no sex._"

"As long as you don't _scream_..." Noah untied Luke's drawstring pants and slowly tugged them down his hips. "Besides, it's not like you're doing any work."

Luke covered his eyes with his free hand. "I'm gonna groan and rip my stitches out. I just know it."

Noah was too preoccupied to reply.

---

It was the second week after Luke's surgery, and Noah found himself on his hands and knees.

It was really very strange how it came about.

One moment he was pinning Luke's hands above his head; the next, he was clawing at the bedsheets, pressing his hips up and back, moaning into his pillow.

Luke was bent over him, kissing and nipping the back of his neck. One of Luke's hands stretched up to clutch his with so much force he thought his fingers would crack; Luke's other hand reached around to stroke his dick to some far-off rhythm.

Noah came harder than he'd had in weeks not a minute later.

A time later--weeks, hours, who knew?--Luke rolled off of him, breathing heavily.

Noah said the first thing that came to him: "Holy shit."

Luke laughed. "I said I'd make it up to you."

"I was expecting _cake_, not your dick up my ass."

"Don't complain. You liked it," Luke said with a smirk. He paused for a moment and continued, "My mom invited us to dinner tomorrow night."

Noah blinked. "What?"

"We're going to dinner with my parents tomorrow."

Noah whacked Luke with his pillow. "I agree to your terms, but raise you one condition."

"I'm listening."

"I'm wearing a tie, and you're putting it on me."

---

_End._  



End file.
